10 Reasons Why Billy Corgan Needs To Get a Haircut

The Scarlet Numbers 5.2.12

Hey world.  It’s me Scarlet.  I’m still in the hospital after that Rhino attack on Monday.  The good news is I’m okay.  The bad news is everyone keeps sending me annoying “Get Well Soon” cards.  The ones that make noises when you open them.  I wasn’t really annoyed by this at first.  I actually thought it was kinda sweet.  But after fifty cards or so I thought to myself, “Okay this is really getting annoying.”

I was reading about a band called The Smashing Pumpkins yesterday.  This is an unknown band from Chicago who everyone listened to because it had a really hot bass player named “Darcy.”  Unfortunately, Darcy got kicked out of the band and ever since they’ve been virtually wiped off the map.

Anyway, I’m not going to write about the Smashing Pumkins.  I’m more interested in writing about their Drummer: Billy Corgan.

The Drummer for Smashing Pumpkins: Billy Corgan

This Kurt Cobain wannabe needs to hit himself on the head with his drumsticks and wake up and get out of the 90’s.  No one wants to see your tangled, unwashed, long hair.  It’s so out of style it’s not even funny.  Not even worth writing about.  But seriously, get a comb dude.  No one wants to hear you play the drums if your hair is going to look like that.  You look like Animal from the Muppets.

I’ve decided to start an online petition to try to convince this “musician”  to cut his hair once and for all.  But then I decided, that was a stupid idea and just decided to do yet another top ten list.  However, I only made it to 7.  So here’s seven reasons why Billy Corgan needs to cut his freaking hair .

Reason #1.

Courtney Love is never going to date you again if you don’t at least put a comb through that tangled mess.  I know you don’t normally listen to rap, and you don’t really prefer to listen to Sean Puffy Combs.  But get a hint.  You need to put a brush through it.  At least get some hair die or something.  Seriously.


 That nice suit is fooling anyone.  All we can see is that long nasty hair covering your eyes so much we can barely even see your face.  It’s no wonder you’re the drummer in the band and not the lead singer.  Who wants to see all that hair?  How on earth did you even walk down the street in Chicago without your head looking like a wild mop?

My suggestion is that you either cut your hair REALLY short, or just get a freaking bic razor and just shave your head.  Long hair just isn’t cool anymore.

Except mine.

Get a hint.

Sorry guys, I’m not even going to bother finishing this list because I’ve run out of pictures and I have to pee.

Thanks again for all the Get Well Soon Cards

But please stop sending them!



P.S. –  Please Copy and Paste this link everywhere on the web you possibly can.  Someone needs to give this guy some serious scissors.

10 Reasons Why Billy Corgan Needs To Get a Haircut


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7 Responses to 10 Reasons Why Billy Corgan Needs To Get a Haircut

  1. Alex says:

    I was never a Smashing Pumpkins fan. To me thy had about as much talent as 2 ticks on a dog’s hind leg. But the personalities of the band were what kept folks listining. But not me. I was still wondering wht Alanis could’nr that one hand out of her pocket.And how did she get that cigarette lit with only one hand? Hmmm. musical words to ponder…..

  2. xtech19 says:

    Xtech19 does not like the red lettering

  3. Alex says:

    I got it.(on the second read through) I just didn’t care for the band.

  4. Howdy: many thanks for taking time of creating up this important information. I often endeavor to more my comprehension of points. Irrespective of whether I consent or disagree, I love information. I recall the olden days if the only supply of information was the library or the newspaper. They both equally appear to be so old. Please Pardon my bad writing : )

  5. Jacqui says:

    Billy Corgan was a smoking hot guitarist with a sexy Jim Morrison look, long hair and leather pants before his indi success took off. He had a slim build over his hollow body guitar and I knew musicians who nic-named him “Ichabob” (Crane) He was Cool As F**K!!! So he cut his hair and sold his soul to the devil…

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