The Scarlet Numbers 5.4.12
Things You Need To Know About Copyright Law
“Your honor, that’s the guy who commented on my blog…”
Let’s face it. You’re not a lawyer.
And you probably don’t know the law.
And even if you were a lawyer, you still probably wouldn’t know.
Most people don’t know anything about Copyright Enforcement….
These three lawyers have a client who accidentally hit
the Re-Tweet button on his Twitter acounnt.
Most people don’t know this…but that’s a felony.
“I don’t like this whole Retwitter thing…not one bit.
You won’t steal a car….You won’t steal a TV…
So why on earth would you REBLOG something?
AND STEAL SOMEONE’S THOUGHTS!
It’s not right. It’s not right one bit and retweeters deserve to be locked away for life!
FOR LIFE? JUST FOR ONE RETWEET?
Breaking News: A SWAT Team Enters a ReTweeter’s Home
“All I did was retweet something that I liked on Twitter!”
Learn for this man’s mistakes. He was executed last October after making 5 retweets in one day. Fortunately, justice was served and he is currently serving 5 life sentences. If you think the Government has nothing better to do than investigate all your retweets, THINK AGAIN
Now remember, after they arrest you and your family you’re going to have a
Are you listening…this is important. During this court date you need to:
TUCK IN YOUR SHIRT.
MAKE SURE YOUR SHIRT IS TUCKED IN BEFORE ARRIVING TO COURT
THIS IS EXTREMELY IMPORTANT!!!!
LET’S JUST SAY IT MIGHT MAKE A
DIFFERENCE BETWEEN 15 AND 25 YEARS OF YOUR LIFE
“I’m sentencing you a sentence of 25 years
for reblogging in the 1st degree…
by the way….your shirt is a little untucked it the back.”
WHAT!!! Pay attention you bozo! I just warned you about that!! I even underlined it!
You might be asking yourself…
“Is it even possible to protect yourself
from Copyright Infringement?”
That’s a tough question.
And we have a tough answer.
“No, no, well maybe perhap slightly but still a little no-ish, ehh…maybe.”
Thankfully, with a decent attorney, there’s a lot of things you can do to avoid imprisonment for a plagiarized grocery list.
Oh and now you know that you’re responsible for everything you retweet and reblog. (Which are both considered felonies in 49 out of 50 States.*
(Reblogging is legal in Maine. Don’t ask me why.)
When justice smashes it’s unforgiving gavel, fair and justified penatlies can and will be used against you in a court of law. So you better be prepared.
Let’s look at another example of Copyright Infringement:
This man was so happy after his favorite team won
the Superbowl he tweeted about it.
“We won!” He tweeted.
He failed to check if his tweet had ever been twit before…
Had he checked before irresponsibly using Twitter…he would have clearly seen Michael R. Simpson owns the rights to the Tweet “We Won.” as of Aug. 13, 2008. And as you might expect, Michael filed a Copyright Claim immediately after noticing his work had been stolen.
“Justice had to be served.” Michael said, “You can’t just steal someone’s tweets without asking first. Had he asked me, I would have said no.”
DON’T LET RE-TWEETING HAPPEN TO YOU!!!
“Re-Tweeters are working across the globe and
they’re getting harder and harder to identify and execute.
Luckily we can rely on our government for one thing and one thing only:
Putting these Scumbags Behind Bars Where They Belong
“This is bullshit!”
Now, I suggest you start reading carefully if you have a Facebook account, a Bing+ account, or even Yahoo Mail. All social networks are monitoring your originality in at any moment they can arrest you without probable cause and waterboard you while listening to Nine Inch Nails: The Downward Spiral.
I strongly suggest you find a ghostwriter to do all your blogging and social networking JUST IN CASE. However, if you are brave enough to actually have the NUTS to write on your own, there are 3 simple rules you can follow than will keep your sweet little tight ass out out Federal Pound Me In The Ass Prison:
“How the fuck was I supposed to know there was already a book called Pet cemetary!”
You might not see yourself as someone like this…but everyday when you log into your e-mail…have you ever thought….
“someone might have already copywritten your password”
This lady is serving 54 years in prison for failing to contact the copyright owner of her password before the logged on each day. She’s lucky. Five hundred years ago she would have been fed to the lions for such copyright infringement.
“Your honor, this woman logged on to your Facebook 15,875 times
using a copy written password.
That’s over fifteen thousand felonies! “
If you’re still not scared and you still want to be a writer, pay attention. Your chances are slim, but you might actually be able to find something original to write about.
So you may be asking yourself… what exactly are the
Seven Things You Need To Know About Copyright Law?
Hold your horses! I’m getting around to telling you, jeez.
If you would stop being so anxious,
It would be easier for me to tell you the
3 secrect rules to
ALL WRITERS NEED TO KNOW
1. Get a laywer.
2. Prepare to Get Sued.
3. Repeat Step One
If you plan on being a writer in the future prepare to be living in a non-stop battlefield where the suing never ends. The chances are, unless you have a big legal team – you won’t be able to afford the cost of fighting for your right to write.
You’ll win some cases, and other cases will be a tie. Just remember that even if you lose, it’s always considered a win for your defense team. It is very likely that they will end up with every dime you own.
You’ll be unaware of this, because you’ll be too busy getting your lunch taken away from you during lumchtime, but your lawyers new responsibilites will include:
- Assuming your possesions, including your favorite gold clufsm, your family, your house, your shoes, your baseball cards and HBO.
- Your children calling your attorney: “Daddy.” and completly forget about you.
- Your attorney going on long romantic walks on the beach with your significant other while you sip dirty water out of a metal toilet bowl because you’re thirsty.
We all lose SOMETIMES. But unlike most professions when you’re a writer losing means there’s going to be a lot of “waterboarding” in your future. However, it’s the only way we can get “thugs” like you out of the writing community. In case you’re a prison guard and this is your first time water-boarding an author, here’s an easy guide:
s you’ll have to spend the rest of your life in a jail cell with your new cellmate Bubba.
If you’re too busy to read this entire blog – just don’t try to lay the blame on me when you’re taken away in shackles and you’re spending the rest of your life behind bars for retweeting something that I wrote on Twitter.
So be careful what you write. Think about everything before you hit send.
When the judge slams his or her gavel down and gives you a life sentence, you’ll be wishing you read this blog…for —ev—-ver.