Murder

The Scarlet Numbers 5.13.12

I have a question.

If you witnessed a murder would you tell anyone?

What if someone who you loved killed a  child right before your eyes?

Would you call the police?

Or would you  keep it a secret?

Would you  give a  friend a towel to wipe the blood off their hands?
Would you help them dig a six foot hole in the ground and help your friend dispose of the body?


“This hole should be big enough to bury a kid and his little stuffed tiger.”

Most of us wouldn’t help a child murderer. Most of us would immediately call the police. Right? When I was young I witnessed a murder. Someone killed a child right before my eyes….

His name was Bill Watterson. This Seinfeld wannabe took my childhood hero and shoved a pitchfork down his throat in the name of Klout-Communism. He Kurt Cobained his career worse than Dave Chappell.

Bill Watterson: Child Murderer

Let me talk for a minute about the band Korn. Unfortunately if you’re American you’ve probably had the displeasure of hearing about this tragedy. When Korn first came around in 1994 they were the best band ever.

Their first album is still one of my favorite albums ever written.  The lead singer Jonathon Davis was a complete maniac who screamed like a maniac and everyone loved him because he was just a complete maniac.

Jonthan Davis: A Rockstar Very Unlike to Kill you Outside of Azeroth

Korn was a great band until something happened…

The band became successful and suddenly the desperation in Jonathon Davis’s lyrics became insincere.  You simply can’t have your cake and eat it too.  There are two options:

1.) You can be an unsuccessful maniac that everyone loves

2.) You can be successful and unloved (and not really a maniac.)

Let’s first take a look at Korn’s discography and see where they went wrong:

As you can clearly see, Korn hasn’t written a good album since 1999.  60% of their work is complete cow SHIT.  How did this happen?  A lot of people like to make suggestions that the band Korn lost their talent with success, or the loss of the band’s GENIUS guitar player Brian Welch…but I have a different theory.

Is it a coincidence that ever since World of Warcraft was released that Korn started to suck?  I think not!  These musicians just stopped practicing and quit writing good music simply for the sake of purple loot.  They lost track of what was important in life.  Rather than music, all they cared about was their stupid guild “Children of the Corn”  and rather than writing quality music, they spend their time raiding and doing instances.

This is why Korn sucks.

Now don’t get me wrong, I love World of Warcraft and I think that everyone should play it.  UNLESS YOU’RE IN THE BAND KORN.

If you’re in the band Korn you have a pet.  You have a responsibility.  If you lose your dog you don’t just “look for an hour” and call it quits, you get your ass out there and you find that fucking dog!”

“Learn from the pros motherfucker…”

I completely understand why people like Seinfeld and Bill Watterson get to the point in their career where they feel like they’ve accomplished everything.  Trust me.  I’ve listened to all of Korn’s albums and I’ve played every expansion of World of Warcraft.

“King Triton….lol….what a little bitch!”

If World of Warcraft would have stopped making expansions after “Wrath of the Licht King”  I probably wouldn’t be typing this.   I’d more than likely be logged on and still playing my lv. 80 Night Elf Rouge while ganking the alliance outside of every instance.  However, sometimes you’re just never satisfied.  In this case, Blizzard had to get greedy and release yet ANOTHER expansion and completely desecrate the beautiful world that it had created by filling up 1000 Needles with water.

1000 Needles: It’s just not the same without tents

In Korns case they completely desecrated their music with the release of Untouchachables in 2002.  This album was horrible.  Completely unlistenable.  Just horrible beyond comprehension.  And every album since then has just got worse and worse.

Sometimes I wonder what Nirvana would sound like today if Cobain wouldn’t have called it quits after “In Utero”  They would probably suck.  However, Kurt Cobain was too genius to ruin with precious work, and so was Seinfeld, and so was Dave Chappell.  Maybe Jonathan Davis can learn a lesson from this and immediately blow his brains out.

Ozzy Osbourne once said if he could go back he would have never made the show “The Osbournes” because it forever ruined is image as a rockstar.

But those who quit will never know what their potential would have been.  Just like Nirvana, we will never know how horrible another ten years of “Calvin and Hobbes” would have been.  Who knows…it might have been fantastic.  Who knows?

The answer is: nobody.

What’s your opinion?  Should artists quit while they are ahead? Or run their talents into the ground until they completely suck?

About thescarletnumbers

Journalist.
This entry was posted in Gaming, MURDER, Music, Philosophy. Bookmark the permalink.

9 Responses to Murder

  1. Ed Lozano says:

    You made a good point.

  2. John Kirkby says:

    If they can quit and have enough to live comfortably for the rest of their lives they should quit. Bill Gates should have sold Microsuck in 1999 for best part of ‘half a Trillion Dollars’ when the company peaked in value and public relations, Whoever of Facebook, Twitter and others similar (different amounts but still plenty to live a Hedonistic life). What about yourself and blogging?…well you need to start making some money with your literary compositions first I suppose. You could be a comedy writer in a few venues where you could be earning monetary compensation for your excellent work.

  3. BurNedBruNo says:

    For the Korn part, I only like their 2nd and 3rd albums–I think their first is a bit too “vague” and they’d started losing it in Issues.
    Now about the question, it just a guess but I think some artists just seem don’t notice that they’re growing suck. I’m more of a Cobainist here, “It’s better to burn out than to fade away,” but doesn’t necessarily mean they have to shoot themselves in the head.
    It’s more like what Jack White did. While the White Stripes was still doing really, really great, he made projects here and there, and bam! came the letter saying they ceased being the White Stripes “to preserve what is beautiful and special about the band and have it stay that way.” Then he started something “new” as a solo musician and his first album is not bad too.

    • Wow, I’ve seen so many inspiring replies. Does anyone remember where that “better to burn than fade away” quote came from. I know Cobain said it in his suicide note, but he was quoting someone…I’m thinking it was Sting? Many of you night not have noticed but it says on the side of my blog 6 days to go. That will mark one month of blogging then I’m going to move on to something else…just to let things sink in a bit. I think the problem with this blog is people read it backwards. I’m always telling jokes that are reliant on the blog before. (for example the joke today about Bill Watterson killing Calvin with a pitchfork and comparing him to that douche Onison) No one probably got that refrence, because no one is as obsessed with this blog as me. I need to make the format for this blog different so people read it forward rather than backwards. Thanks for reading!

  4. I just looked it up, “Better to Burn than to Fade Away” is a song by Neil Young.

  5. jeeprs creeprs says:

    Your views on Korn are as accurate as I’ve ever heard. The vote was difficult early Korn kicked ass, wow same…in the end they lost their coolness factor by trying too hard losing their edge and sucking. Therefore Nirvana / Seinfield / Bill Watterson / Dave Chappelle win hands down.

    My question is how does one know when they’ve peaked, when their as good as they’ll ever be?…they don’t unless they continue and keep trying and keep.sucking. in which raises the question how long should you beat that dead horse…I mean once your on the down slide, you don’t want to be remembered for you last flop. So if you should come out the gate hard and fast just accept that you may be the latest one hit wonder, break the band up and live the rest of your days wondering…what if.

  6. The funny thing is, I wasn’t joking when I said that Jonathon Davis plays world of warcraft….lol. He actually has a guild called “Children of the Korn” lmfao. coincidentally world of warcraft came out the same year as issues.

  7. oekrklnta says:

    kkxywdrkq twsea ykxuyog uguh waqlxcbriwdlfas

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