Six Sideshow Freaks

The Scarlet Numbers 5.16.12

Back before America became too PC to spank their own daughters on their butts, this country actually had balls. Real. Solid. Balls.

This was before American men became absolute testicleless pansies. Believe it or not, societies have actually existed where men were fed to lions. How badass is that?

“That’s pretty badass if you ask me!”

Is it a coincidence there were no Justin Biebers or Britney Spears during this time period? I think not! They’d be fed by lions and we’d all get to watch an ACTUAL 30 minutes of family fun.

Wanna fix the economy? Put Britney Spears in a lion cage and put it on Pay-Per View. We’d have a balanced budget in 30 seconds! But no…that’s not going to happen because men these days have no balls whatsoever. They’re pussies!

Cowardly lions too afraid to feed popstars to blood hungry beasts. It’s about time American men visited Oz for some balls!

The overwhelming majority of soccermoms rule this nation with an iron fist! Why? Three words:

Men. Are. Pussies.

Believe it or not, there used to be a time when women could relax and not have to be pressured by society to work. Back then…kids were actually raised. Is it a coincidence there were no Columbine Shootings in the 1950’s? I think not! There were no metro-sexuals back then!

Children actually had manners back then. They weren’t Knee Deep in the Dead shooting zombies…they were riding bikes….BECAUSE THEIR MOTHERS told them to go outside BECAUSE THEIR MOTHERS WERE HOME.

NOT WORKING AT GEICO.

SPENDING MORE THAN 15 MINUTES WITH YOUR SON

COULD SAVE YOUR 15 YEAR OLD SON FROM

WASTING 15 SHOTGUN SHELLS

AS HE SHOOTS 15 STUDENTS

WHILE YOU WERE MAKING 15 BUCKS AN HOUR

NOT RAISING YOUR 15 FUCKING KIDS!!!!

Believe it or not…there used to show called “Wait till your Father gets Home.” These days it would be called “Wait Until Your Mother Gets Home.”

I’m getting sidetracked, this blog isn’t about the main act…

It’s about the sideshow. The freaks that you’re not allowed to look at because The Microsofts said it was “politically incorrect.” But who cares about those PC bastards, we want to see something fun! So let’s get started….

Six Sideshow Freaks

#1. THE UNEMPLOYED

Fist of all, before you get your panties in a bundle let me quickly say SHUT THE FUCK UP. The unemployment level hasn’t even been over 10% in I don’t even know how long. Did you know 10% of american males are in prison. Why? Because THEY BROKE THE LAW AND THERE DESERVE TO BE THERE. So if you’re unemployed standing in the unemployment line bitching about “the economy” why don’t you go home and take a long good look in the mirror….

Maybe you should have got a better education so you wouldn’t end up looking like the guy on the right. No one cares if you’re a MAC…you’re a SLOB and you don’t DESERVE a job. You had your chance to make good grades and it’s too late now…Get an education and you won’t get fired from your shitty jobs. Oh…you have an education but you still can’t find a job? Then,,,get a better education you dimwit!!! Keep in mind this is YOUR fault for overcrowding the workplace with sweet and smarter women. They are much better workers than your fat lazy ass.

just go back on the couch and continue you’re Diablo 3…

SOCIETY DOESN’T NEED YOU.

SIDESHOW FREAK #2:

THE OCCUPY MOVEMENT

Back in the day, even the Elephant man could make a living. Now a man can’t even get a job period.The only side show freaks we have left is the Retardo Occupy Wall Street Movement who thinks if they whine loud enough everyone in Wall Street will just run away scared.

CONTINUE PLAYING DIABLO 3…WE DON’T NEED YOU. KTHANXBYE

Don’t get me wrong. I love protesting, I love anarchy, and I love chaos. But I HATE STUPIDITY…and you can’t expect realistic change from non-violent protesting….what are you FUCKING GHANDI!!!! BE AN AMERICAN. If you want to make a true difference READ “CATCHER AND THE RYE”

Peace love and understanding only goes so far before you need to just STAND UP and say, “FUCK YOU YOKO!!! YOU RUINED THE BEATLES!”

SIDESHOW FREAK #3: RON PAUL

Hey Ron….GET THE FUCK OUT OF TEXAS

YOU’RE EMBARRASSING PANTERA.

You’re fucking coo-coo for coco puffs!

Even Phil from Pantera has enough sense NOT TO ENDORSE HEROIN TO THE AMERICAN PUBLIC. And Phil’s the type of guy who will say this on record:

“For every fucking second the pathetic media pisses me off

and judges what I am in one paragraph…look here FUCK YOU ALL!!!!”

Ron Paul might as well be saying this exact same quote because when he makes comments like “All drugs should be legal” He’s endorsing HEROIN.

That’s Coo-Coo for cocopuffs! You might as well be saying, “Fuck you all.” In fact, if you said that people would actually respect you more.

That saddest thing about this is Ron Paul is actually a REALLY smart guy. He’s a DOCTOR. But apparently a drugged up rock star has more common sense than him.

Sideshow freak #4,
The Republican Party

This group is more unorganized than than the Elephant Man’s face thanks to the Tea Party which single handily smashed the GOP into pieces like a piñata. Everything about the right wing is insulting to the American population as a whole. They’re just plain ignorant. They’d vote for a storm trooper over Darth Vader simply over his white uniform.

“Vote for me!”

Republicans are just pissed off because a democrat in office effects their bank accounts. They’d vote for a character from Sesame Street as long as it pledged to never raise taxes.

“I’ll never raise taxes!”

Republicans are fucking stupid hypocrites! Don’t even speak about “wasting federal spending” while you simultaneously waste trillions of dollars in wars overseas with murky cookie-cutter “for our freedom” bullshit explanations.

The Republican Way

Republicans might as well sing the Pantera song War Nerve, which I’ve already quoted once….he’s the 2nd verse….

“All the money in the fucking world

couldn’t buy a second of trust or one ounce of faith in anything you’re about.”

That’s basically what the GOP is saying day after day after day. They’re all hypnotized by this idea they’re part of the 1%, when in reality the majority of republicans are part of the 99%.

SIDESHOW FREAK #6: GROVER

Are you COO-COO-FOR-COCOCA PUFFS!

YOU CAN’T JUST NOT RAISE TAXES FOR-EV-VER YOU FUCKING MORON.

Go ahead…pledge your fucking pledge to this muppet. He’s not a republican. He’s a selfish, greedy, and ignorant libertarian who cares more about his own bank account than the overall well being of our country. He’s not a HERO he’s a MUPPET!!!!

He’s sideshow freak-worthy.

-Scarlet

About thescarletnumbers

Journalist.
This entry was posted in Annoying People, Philosophy, Politics, Top 6 and tagged , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

5 Responses to Six Sideshow Freaks

  1. chadillac1 says:

    Fucking coo-coo for coco puffs! I plan to use that phrase at least three times today at work.

  2. Gary says:

    I’ve read most of your blog posts and I have to say that you tell it like it is..,we men have been told so many years that we’re pigs, and being the ensecure species we are have traded in our courage in the hope that we’ll be better liked, instead of just saying FU if you don’t like it and move on. So, keep preaching the truth to us men. We need it!

  3. Alex says:

    Another excellent post. Made me laugh! Ron Paul will just not go away!

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