Six Websites That Need To Get Their App Together

A couple of days ago when I was making my list of the Top Ten Best Free iPhone Apps, I stumbled upon a whole bunch of applications from well known websites who have shameful hideous apps that should never been seen in the light of an iphone.

This makes me sad.

Sad because if some of these apps were better designed I would be doing a lot less blogging and a lot more dicking around on the internet. Unfortuately, this is not to case, so this week’s Scarlet Number goes out to…

THE SEX WEBSITES THAT NEED TO GET THEIR APP TOGETHER

edit: lol typo

#1. Reedit:


What is this piece of garbage reddit app that I have on my phone? It makes me want to put on a gas mask and throw my phone in the trash and then immediately throw my trash can in a burning dumpster.

Unlike Reddit the Website: Reddit the app just plain sucks. I would go into detail about why it sucks, but doing so would make me want to throw my phone in the nearest trash can. And I’m sitting right beside a trashcan right now. And there’s a gas mask right beside me.

Oh and a burning dumpster.

#2 YouTube:

I think someone commented in my blog “8 Racist Things You Should Never Say In Front of Black People” that I had “a limited vocabulary” for using the nigger word. Well, here’s a word for you that you won’t find in any webster dictionary…

Youtube’s iphone App is a piece of Crapfuck.

That’s right. Crapfuck.

Watching videos is great, but I’ve never, and I mean ever have been able to comment on any videos from the crappy piece of dog-dung YouTube App that deserves to be used as a toilet for a national dog shitting contest.

Get your shit together Google. You’ve already made us stop making cool Youtube videos because of your unwanted takeover. We all read the book 1984. You can at least make an application that lets us comment on other people’s crappy videos. This might take a lot less of the focus off of you.

Seriously, this application is just terrible. I would go into more detail but I see a dog quickly approaching and I think I’m going to try to make it shit on my phone.

#3. Craigslist-


How am I supposed to make an annonomoys add for sex with such a idiotically designed app. Who designs this crap? I’m trying to get laid, not trying to figure out how to delete last night post and post another one in the correct section.
I would seriously rather had 10000 STD’s than use this app.

#4. The New York Times:

“Bitch, please!”

Every time I accidentally click on a link that directs me to anything from the new York times, I’m immediately asked to log in. I get a good chuckle before immediately navigating away from the website without even reading the article.

NOONE IS GOING TO PAY TO READ

THE NEWS ONLINE YOU FUCKING MORONS.

ESPECIALLY NEWS ORGANIZATIONS THAT DON’T HAVE

THE WORD “CRAPFUCK” IN THEIR VOCABULARIES.

The New York Times is Coo-Coo for cocopuffs.

They need to wake up and smell the delicious

chocolately cereal in their breakfast bowls.

The modern journalist is about as important as the grocery bagger at wall mart. The ones who don’t have jobs anymore because walmart was smart enough to get the cashiers to start bagging groceries.


If the New York Times thinks they can stay in business for another year…they’re in for a rude awakening. Their business model is sinking like the titanic after being hit by the ice-cold blogosphere.

Get your head out of the stair collum thingies NYTimes…lol. Seriously…you’re choking yourself to death. Give us free news or expect to be forgotten after doing something stupid like sticking your head in stair collum thingies or trying to sell the new in 2012 when it’s free everywhere else.

Don’t worry New York Times, we’ll visit your grave when you’re dead and gone

in T-Minus 365 days….

#5. eBay-


I was about to write about how much I hate this application, but I just lost my temper and threw my phone in a burning dumpster.

Look, I’m no responsible journalist from the New York Times.

Well…at least not anymore.

So don’t expect me to do all the work for you and “blog” about why your application sucks balls. Just fix it! I’d much rather be buying shit on ebay than making this stupid blog. Seriously. I’m not enjoying this.

#6. Pay pal-


Be right back, I’m going to go crawl into that burning dumpster.

-Scarlet

About thescarletnumbers

Journalist.
This entry was posted in Annoying People, Apple and tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

One Response to Six Websites That Need To Get Their App Together

  1. John Kirkby says:

    Pay for news is a loser. I read the NYTimes way less now…only when it is viewable for free. Other pay to read sites I stumble upon I just find the same news item somewhere else for free. I wish they’d move the reality TV shows, dancing with, Idol, KK, etc…all that crap to Pay per View which would clean up TV a lot.

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