Unimpressed With WordPress

The Scarlet Numbers 6.19.12

Hello world.

Well, I’ve officially been blogging for two months…and honestly I think my biggest mistake was choosing WordPress over Google’s Blogger. I read somewhere on the internet you could make money from blogging. Whoever said that was dead wrong. Dead wrong.

WordPress Is #%*@ Stupid…

I simply cannot express how much I dislike WordPress without a full fledged lawsuit with over a dozen lawyers. First I’m going to sue WordPress for wasting my time. Next I’m going to sue WordPress for never featuring me, citing that WordPress is biased against violent, angry, filthy mouthed lawless felons like me who spit on society on a daily basis with pleasure.

WordPress just altogether sucks.

Then I’m going to sue WordPress for allowing me to host so many copyrighted imagines as if the Internet is some kind of lawless wasteland where the “rules don’t apply.” This website, WordPress is the worst thing that I’ve seen since Napster. I claim no responsibility for anything I’ve written or posted. WordPress is the one who encourages me to write it, allowed me to post it, and gave me the unlawful freedom of speech that is destroying the essential fundamental fabrics of our society itself. WordPress deserves to be destroyed. Entirely.

With Sledgehammers.

I solely blame the lack of community on WordPress for my complete failure as a blogger. It is obviously not my fault. I write great readable blogs. Unlike the entire WordPress Community.

Seriously. You guys suck…

What a bunch of boring bullshit.

These bloggers are worthless.  They will never make anything out of themselves.  They are simply “unpublished writers” whol will never get a book deal because of their suckiness.  No offense, but if you have a blog on WordPress, you are a loser.

It’s really that simple.

So unfortunately today I regretfully announce I am ending the Scarlet Numbers on WordPress.  I’m moving to more “prestegious” sites. Ya, know…sites that people use. Sites like GOOGLE.  I get about 99.99999999999999999999% of all my traffic from Google anyway…Wordpress is just an annoying unneeded detour.

I finally have enough evidence to Sue The Shit out of WordPress for financial gain. I’m going to be filthy rich after suing them for every dime they got for allowing me to write this blog with their software, services, and suckiness. I have no more reason to blog here anymore. WordPress is just holding me back from being cool. I want to be cool. I reaaaally want to be cool but using WordPress is like having Steve Urcle as your best friend.  You simply can’t be cool if you have some DORK following you around all of the time ruining your reputation.

“Hey everyone, wanna check out my site on WordPress?” 

My lawyers already have enough case files to fill up two crappy metal filing cabinets but they should really invest in a secretary who knows how to use a fucking file folder.

I would mostly like to blame my audience for my lack of success. It’s people like you make me quit and spend four whole days playing Diablo 3 and eating ice-cream all day whole drinking Coke Zero and Gin and not changing my tampons.

You guys suck.

What the fuck is a Gravatar anyway? Pathetic.

The Scarlet Numbers
4.19.12 – 6.19.12

About thescarletnumbers

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