Cum As You Are

There are 3 types of people in this world. You’re either a Kurt Cobain, a Chris Noveselic, or a Dave Grohl.

Personality Type: Kurt Cobain


A Kurt Cobain is someone with incredible talent but doesn’t appreciate it. You’ll find success everywhere you go but you’ll fuck it all up in the end and end up disappointing everyone. Here’s a list of Kurt Cobain Personalities:

George Lucas

This guy created a masterpeice and then decided to build a huge wrecking ball and destroy his beautiful creation. Let’s just say he went from “A New Hope” to “Nevermind”

Seinfield

This Dave Chappelle wannabe thinks that you can just “peace out” as soon as your ratings are at their highest. He is afraid of failure so he just quit.

Dave Chappelle

This Seinfield wannabe thinks that you can just “peace out” as soon as your ratings are at their highest. He is afraid of failure so he just quit.

Bill Watterson

This doofus just quit making Calvin and Hobbes because newpapers “refused” to let him draw on bigger cartoon panels. Instead of just making his own new verison of Calvin and Hobbes drawn on bigger panels, he just gave up.

Macully Culkin

When this kid became a star he was practically “In Utero”

Then he decided to make a movie called Richie Rich and decided afterwards that he was too rich to make movies anymore. Coincidence? I think not!

Micheal Moore

This guy used to be a great filmmaker.

Now he just sits on his couch and eats potato chips.

Okay, now we’re through with the talented people. Let’s take a look at the ones with no talent but still seem to make it in this world….

Personality Type: Chris Novaselic


Then there’s the Chris Novaselics of this world. These are the lucky ones with no talent who get a lucky break and ride someone else’s wave of success until it comes to a crashing end. Here’s some examples of a Christ Noveselic Personality:

Kim Kardashian

Rich and Famous because of her father.

Paris Hilton

Rich and Famous because of her father.

Mitt Romney

Rich and Famous because of her father.

Ashlee Simpson

Got a one way ticket to fame from her sister.

Axl Rose

Never would have been famous without Slash

Kelly Osbourne

Famouse because of her father.

George W. Bush

Famous because of her father.

Alright, let’s move on. Now we’re going to talk about people who just won’t be themselves. They have an incredible talent (like playing the drums) but they choose to do something other than what they’re best at. (Like being a lead singer) Dave Grohls also have the tendency to overstay their welcome just about everywhere they go.

Personality Type: Dave Grohl

Wears a kiss shirt when his favorite band is Nirvana.

Bo Jackson

Does anyone remember Bo Jackson? He was one of those guys who just thought he could do anything. Just like Dave Grohl, he thought he could just quit his main profession and move onto something else. Well Bo moved on to baseball…and actually did quite well. But then it just got ridiculous…

Are you fucking kidding me?

And of coarse, when we start getting sidetracked with our carreers….bad things happen. People start to want to be juuuuust like Bo Jackson…

“Maybe basketball isn’t for me…”

“Daffy…I’m gonna start playing Baseball!”

Look at this Dave Grohl wannabe…what a joke!

Ozzy Osbourne

“Maybe I should quit being a rockstar and become a reality tv show star….”

Here’s a couple more examples…

Ellen Degenerate-

Rather than being a comedian, she decides to try to become Oprah.

Gary Coleman

“Anyone need a cash loan?”

Glenn Beck-

Rather than being an alcoholic he decides to be Rushlimbaugh.

Sharon Osbourne –

rather than being ozzy’s producer, she decides to be Ricki Lake.

George Foreman

This guy turned from a heavy weight champion to a “heavy steak” champion.

Danny DeVito

Gave up being an actor to be a TV Star.

Charles Lee Ray

Decides to end his career as a serial killer and transport his soul into a Good Guy Doll.

Marilyn Manson-

Rather than being a rockstar he paints with watercolors.

Peter Pan

Chose to be a lawyer rather than Peeeta.

Which type of personality are you?

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About thescarletnumbers

Journalist.
This entry was posted in Music, Philosophy, Rants and Raves and tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

8 Responses to Cum As You Are

  1. boomiebol says:

    Oh my days…your posts are epic lol…i love Dave Grohl and the foo fighters though :)…but the untalented lucky douches…I agree and Ellen trying to be Oprah, Sharon Osbourne too funny. Glen Beck…oh my God how can we get him to see the one on him. Clever as always!!!

  2. jeeprs creeprs says:

    I’m split on Kobain and Grohl, situation dictates outcome.

  3. John Kirkby says:

    Is this just a plug for Ms Romney?

  4. Gary says:

    Yeah, I’m a Cobain for sure.

  5. Jim Cantwell says:

    Axl certainly would not have been famous without Slash, I do agree

  6. moarstuff says:

    I’m not sure which personality type I am. I’d like to think that I’m neither one of those. That I’ll go on to do great things.

  7. I love your tag and it’s seems to work!

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