The Scarlet Numbers 5.25.12
I’m so pissed off right now I could eat a donkey.
Today has been a day filled with smashing beer bottles, kicking holes in the wall, and ordering nail guns online. I just want to buy a saw and start fucking up every construction site in a 5 mile radius. A big huge buzz saw.
I feel like destorying art.
I feel like buying a flame thrower and finding the closest ice sculpture and just melting it to the ground. I feel like finding Frosty the Snowman and just burning him until he’s nothing but a puddle of fucking water on the ground.
“Why the fuck are you so angry Scarlet?”
I’m pissed off because Google thinks they can just ERASE me off the face of the planet. I feel like a pissed of man in China who can’t find a single image of a naked pussy online that doesn’t have those blurry mosiac boxes. What’s with all this fucking censorship! It’s pathetic! I feel like I’m living in North Korea.
Shut the fuck up Kim Jung Whatever. The truth is that my site is a dud without Google Plus. There’s no “community” on WordPress. No one gives a shit about this site on Facebook. People want to see this site on Google Plus. It’s just that plain and simple. And the Googlebot has DESTROYED me and erased every single post I’ve made for the past TWO MONTHS. I really…reallllly wish I could find my pitchfork.
How many nipples do I have to post on this blog to get people to click the “share” button. Two? Three? Five? Just tell me and I’ll post them. I’ll even get pregnant if you want to see me squeeze milk from my boobs. Whatever it takes to make this blog as popular as possible. Wanna see a blonde do a reenactment of tub girl? Buy me some orange juice and I’ll do it!
Okay maybe not…
“Why are you crying Scarlet?”
I feel like crying. I feel like Robocop has just slapped me in the face and it wasn’t even funny. I just feel like crawling into a little ball and dying. I just want to make every child on the face of this earth cry. Just like E.B. White did when he wrote Charollette’s Web. I’M SO ANGRY! Does anyone have any Midol???
I’m going to go take a dump.
SHARE ON GOOGLE PLUS!