A Face Book Phone?????


The Scarlet Number 5.29. 12

Hello Phone.  Can you hear me?  Can you hear me now?  Hold on…my iphone is getting poor reception, let me try using my FACEBOOK PHONE.

“You gotta Bee Kidding me…”

Yep! That’s right!  A new facebook phone!  That’s at least what I heard through “the grapevine.”  Apparently Face was “hired” more than six exex-iPhone engineers who worked for Apple….and they want to make a Facebook Phone by next year!

“Sh*t. Forgot to pay my Facebook Bill.  Now my phone’s off.”

Psshhh…facebook phone.  What a joke.  But where are the details? Huh, CNN? What’s the matta…let me guess you  dont’ have any details. Just what I thought.  No, that’s cool.  Go ahead about “report” a story about “6 Employees From Apple who worked on the iphone” but don’t tell us any more…leave that up to the “blogosphere which you love oh so dearly”

It looks like ET really wants to know more about this Facebook Phone.

Question: Who were these Apple employees were? Answer: “Undisclosed Sources.”

I give you a hint Mr. Bee Guy….if you want to create a buzz …

you better start flapping your wings.

So these Apple Guys whoever they are might my the genius’s behind the iPhone.  Whop-dee-doo.  Guess what.  The inventor of the wheel….just wouldn’t think of any better ideas after his Magnum Opus…

Faaaaaburrrrrrrkkkkkkpppphhhhoooooooonnnnnneeeee

hooooooooooooooome

Could somebody give me a kit Kay bar! Give me a break! I’m not impressed with CNN right now, I would really like to know more details but it’s just a “rumor” story, I might as well be starting about some celebrity gosspis.  This seems kind of fishy…almost as if something were trying to create…..a buzz…..

This guy is the new Buzz.  He’s the future of Facebook.  His name is Buzz “Like in a Year.”  I interviewed him about the new Facebook phone and asked him when this new Facebook phone would be available and he said, “Like in a year…..chill.”

Wakka, Wakka, Wakka

Here’s actually a good question:  What exactly has Facebook ever done for you?  That’s kind of hard to answer huh?  It’s kind of easier to ask:

What has Facebook done TO you:

That’s an easy one:

  • They’re collected all our online data everytime we didn’t log out
  • They’re scanned our faces into facial recognition systems
  • They’re posted our status updates on 3rd party sites
  • They’re completely ruined everything cool about the internet/privacy/work/school/personal/life.

Alex, I’d like to solve the puzzle:  Facebook is selling the personal stories that I shared with my friends to whomever they choose because my privacy does not matter and this doesn’t bother be because….

WRONG!

Damn.  So what we get in return for “investing” our time in facebook?  Wait….what?

FACEBOOK WANTS US TO GIVE THEM MONEY????

“Bitch please…..”

Myspace just called….they want to let you in on a little secrect Facebook….you’re future is going to be preeetty grim.  And lonely.  And silent.  Trust me, if Justin Timberlake can’t bring sexy back to myspace, NOTHING will be able to bring Facebook back once it starts to show it’s first slight signs of a receding hairline.

Facebook is not a legitamate company.  There’s no revenue.  And as soon as the ads stop popping up….and trust me, they’re coming….us people on the Internets will take our non-existant buisiness elsewhere…

No one is going to pay for a Facebook phone.  Pshhh….

Maybe….maybe if it were free people might questionably use it just to try it out.  But they’d still be paranoid as hell doing anything on it with the reputation Facebook has with our privacy.

Good luck getting over that hurdle Facebook!

Facebook is so destined for failure it’s almost hilarious. It’s almost loud out loud funny.Ever heard of Myspace? Friendster? Napster? AOL? How far did they reach into THE YEAR 2012….ZILCH.  And Facebook will be no different.  Mark my words.

About thescarletnumbers

Journalist.
This entry was posted in Annoying People, Facebook, New Blogs, Tech Review and tagged , , . Bookmark the permalink.

2 Responses to A Face Book Phone?????

  1. John Kirkby says:

    Zuck is probably pretty full of himself with the success of Facebook. But business-wise he demonstrated how Not to launch an IPO what with insider trading issues, overpricing the stock, Nasdaq delays of the start…and buyers deciding they will try to sue after the stock fell and all the previous items had become news. Despite that though a lot of cash in now in his hands. He retains control since investors don’t own more than 49%. So the same investors must have flipped with the announcement to the world that now he’s going for a Facebook phone!? This is causing a lot of talk…none of it good because it is another fine example of why investors should avoid such investments in the first place.

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