Do Small Things Bother You?

The Scarlet Numbers 5.30.12

Do small things bother you?

Hello World.  I am often agitated by the smallest things.  I was watching a live performance of the Foo Fighters one day and I noticed that Dave Grohl was chewing gum while he was singing….and IT DROVE ME CRAZY!  I was LIVID.  It made me want to smash my laptop with a sledgehammer!  I don’t know why this bothered me so much…everytime he chewed this piece of bubble gum he just looked like such a

BUBBLE GUM LOVING DOUCHEBAG

“Is someone getting the best…the best…the best…the best of chew!!!”

I seriously felt like I was watching a Juicy Fruit commerical.  I just couldn’t take it anymore….the music was good, the songs were semi-okay but every time Dave Grohl continously chewed his gum….

“Stop Chewing Bubblegum while you’re on Stage You Twat!!!”

 Sigh.  I don’t know why I get so spontaneouly angry at the world sometimes. (And by sometimes I mean ALL the time.)  I’m just fed up with the world.  Completely utterly disgusted with society as a whole. This is the reason I never leave my house.

I just can’t take it anymore!

Everything annoys me!!!

 THE SKY ANNOYS ME, CARS ANNOY ME, BICYCLES ANOY ME, ANIMALS ANNOY ME, PEOPLE ANNOY ME, STAIRS ANNOY ME, ESCALATORS ANNOY ME ELEVATORS CONVERSATION DRIVES ME OFF THE WALL

DOES ANYONE HAVE AN EXTRA STRAIGHT JACKET!!!

You could be on an elevator with Albert Einstein and still be unable to to have a slightly intelligent conversation! 

“Excuse me mam, do you know which button

I need to press to get to the seventh floor?”

“The little button that has a seven on it you FUCKING moron!”

Why can’t we just be ourselves when we’re standing in elevators?  

Why are we FORCED to talk about the weather?

George W. Bush is quite possibly the first person in human history to have ever said ANYTHING on an elevator that wasn’t completely UTTERLY WORTHLESS.  

“I endorse Mitt Romney!”

       -George W. Bush

Elevators seem like the only place in the world where people can actually zip their lips.  Maybe the reason we never say anything is because we feel trapped.  We are faced with feelings of not being able to run away after saying something completely rude.

Did you happen to get a chance to look at the SUN today?

Guess what else I can’t stand…..

Environmentalists.

The freaking SKY annoys me.   There simply aren’t enough clouds and it’s waay too blue.  But the sky isn’t just some SMALL thing.  However environmentalists think they can simply “make a huge impact in this world” by recycling plastic bags and everything else under the fucking sun.

Okay, look at this ant….

It’s pretty freaking cool that he can pick up things that are several times heavier than it’s own weight.  Can you imagine how EGOTISTICAL this ant must be?  He must think that he’s able to do anything.  If this little ant told you, “I’m gonna stop warming from happening, and I’m going to build a rocket-ship and go to the moon!”

“Okay steady….steady…the recycling bin is right over there to the left. We’re doing a great job everybody!”

If ants recycled you would probably laugh at them.  But THEY’RE MAKING A DIFFRENCE…they’re saving the earth…we should applaud ants for recycling …

“Bitch please….”

Ants certainly aren’t big enough to make a difference…

HUMANS AREN’T EITHER.

Don’t worry guys! It’s a SMALL world!

And fixing the climate will be EASY.

 Positive attitudes are possibly the dumbest thing on the planet.

 “Great job everyone! We recycled four plastic bottles today! We’re making the world a better place one plastic bottlecap a time! We’re be headed to the moon in NO time!”

NO YOU WON’T.

FACE IT.

YOU’LL NEVER MAKE IT TO THE MOON.

YOU’LL NEVER CHANGE THE WORLD…

NOTHING YOU CAN DO WILL EVER CHANGE ANYTHING.

PERIOD.

 Our egos have blasted off into outspace and our egos are become so “out of this world” we think that we can make actually a difference.  Not gonna happen.  The world is simply too BIG to be affected by people.  It’s been around LOOOOONG before us…and will exist LOOOONG after another asterioid hit the earth and kills everything on the planet.

The next time anyone tells you “everything is going to be alright tell them to shut the fuck up. We’re all essientially fucked and we’re all going to die. Spare yourself the positive attitude and just hurry up and jump off a bridge already.

I’m going to go take a dump now.

-Scarlet

About thescarletnumbers

Journalist.
This entry was posted in Philosophy, Rants and Raves and tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

2 Responses to Do Small Things Bother You?

  1. twizzlefiles says:

    I wish didn’t completely feel this way myself most of the time, otherwise I probably would be laughing my ass off right now.

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