The Scarlet Numbers 6.19.12
Hello world. Face it. We all love sex. And most of us with teeth love fresh sweet corn. But what’s better? That’s a tough question.
You’re probably asking yourself…
what is Wood Fired Pussy Corn?
Well that a good question and I’m here to answer it. Wood Fired Pussy Corn is the best tasting corn on the planet. Why? Because you basically make it right inside your vagina. Yes. In your Vagina. Cooking it can be a little painful if you’re not used to it, but overall it’s definataly worth it. Trust me. Your family and neighbors will love eating this corn more than pussy itself. Here are the ingredients:
Wood-Fired Pussy Corn
- 6 ears of corns, with stems rammed straight up your pussy
- 6 Tablespoons butter, softened (on nipples)
- 6 Tablespoons Parmesan, grated (Keep Cheese away from vagina)
- zest of 3 limes (exclude limes from touching girly areas)
- 1/4 teaspoon cayenne pepper (pepper should not touch nipples)
- 1 teaspoon kosher salt (keep salt out of the general vaginal area)
- 4 Tablespoons cilantro, chopped (Do not chop nipples off while doing this.)
- 1 teaspoon garlic, minced (Keep Garlic away from Butthole)
- Butcher’s string (No, that’s not a tampon)
- Peel back the outer leaves of the corn, but leave them intact with the stem of the cob, slowly take it out of your vagina.
- Remove all of the interior silk (Fun fact: there is one strand of silk for every kernel of corn!) and soak vagina under water for 30 minutes.
- Combine the butter, Parmesan, lime zest, cayenne pepper, salt, cilantro and garlic inside of your pussy.
- Pulse the vagina until they are well mixed.
- Take half the butter mixture and spread it evenly between your legs onto the 6 corn cobs, on the rows of corn kernels inside of your vag. Reserve the rest of the butthole mixture for later.
- Turn back the outer leaves of the corn cob to cover your butthole with the buttered rows of kernels and return it to its original shape.
- Using butcher’s string, (not tampon string) tie the ears so the outer leaves protect the kernels.
- Grill over a wood (no, not that kind of wood) fire at medium heat for approximately 8-10 minutes or until the corn kernels are soft and tender inside of your pussy.
- Cut the butcher’s string and remove them out of your vag while keeping the charred leaves intact..
- Place the cobs on a platter and serve to guests with the remaining butter mixture for seasoning, along with bibs and loads of napkins.
- Guests should be able to turn back the outer grilled leaves and eat the corn holding it by the stem.
Did you know that CNN today reported that CORN is better than sex? Yeah. That’s how psychotic they are. Check out this recipe and you’ll never want to eat pussy again. Without corn that is.
See you soon,