4 Things You Might Not Know About McDonalds

The Scarlet Numbers 8.20.12

Fear and Loathing At McDonalds: Part One

Well, since I was rejected from working a A FUCKING PET STORE because of my violent criminal record, I got desperate and decided to get a job at a place where any degenerate can get a job:  McDonalds. I gave them a fake name and worked there for a week.  I just quit yesterday and overall I’d have to say this has been a very interesting experience from a journalists perspective.  First of all, they didn’t even realize that I gave them a fake name and information. During my orientation I sat right next to two people, one person who has a Class A misdemeanor weapons charge for illegal possession of a firearm and the other guy had a drug charge for attempting to sell marijuana.

 Did I mention that McDonald’s is a place for kids?

Welcome to Mcdonalds, wanna buy some illegal guns?

Anyway, I got the job and quit a couple days later.  I still haven’t got my first worthless paycheck.  The reason I quit is because I couldn’t afford any black shoes and they wouldn’t let me wear anything else.

Anyway here are:

 4 Things You Might Not Know About Working At McDonald’s.

Did you know…

 McDonalds allows employees to date each other.

However, supervisors aren’t allowed to date non-supervisors, and supervisors aren’t allowed to date other supervisors.

Did you know…

McDonalds doesn’t allow employees to work with their cell phones in their pocket.

If you work at McDonald’s and have a cell phone in your pocket they can and will fire you. They are super anal about cell phones and act like total Nazis forcing you to leave them in your car where they can be easily stolen.

I just  couldn’t deal with their ridiculous cell phone policy.

It’s reasonable to say, “Don’t use your cell phone at work.”  But it’s ridiculous to say, “Don’t bring your cell phone to work.”

Attention Criminals:

Want to know a job place to break into cars and steal cell phones? McDonalds.

Did you know…

 McDonald’s doesn’t ever use direct deposit for their employees checks.


Not even supervisors can have their checks directly deposited. I think this may break some law in some way because if you’re making minimum wage and you have to get your checked cashed, you’re technically making less than minimum wage because there’s no way you can get 100% percent of your check.

Did you know…

McDonald’s actually pays their

employees minimum wage.

Being white and sexy, I thought minimum wage was a myth, but it actually exists. McDonald’s cares so little about their employees that they’re willing to actually pay them minimum wage. Keep in mind that most McDonald’s employees are illegal immigrants who intend to send the money they make back home to Mexico.

I wonder how much business McDonalds would get if all the illegal immigrants who work for McDonalds were immediately fired.  That sure seems like a better reason to be fired than for having a cell phone.

Thanks for reading!  If you have any questions about my experience working for McDonalds please ask away!


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29 Responses to 4 Things You Might Not Know About McDonalds

  1. sansself says:

    So, let’s see… we have an employer who makes their work place the absolute most inhospitable place possible. You can’t have your cell phone on your person at all, meaning that parents or people involved in event planning should never work there. You can date other employees, allowing and even encouraging workplace drama to flourish and ruin everyone’s day. You get paid the absolute least amount of money possible, which shows that if they COULD pay you less than that then they would. Oh, and you have to take your check elsewhere to get it taken care of, which is complete bullshit because, as you said, you can never get 100% of your minimum wage earnings.

    All said, why the fuck would ANYONE work for McDonalds? I almost did it last year when they had their big hiring drive but, being a consumer of that dreaded and destructive green leaf, I decided against it. Now I’ll be sure to never work there myself, knowing what I know now. Thanks for clearing that up!

  2. Two issues: 1) How did you know the people had those SPECIFIC charges? 2) Have you never heard of having a bank account and cashing the check AT that bank?

    • 1) we had a quit five minute break, and the other twos guys told me while we smoked a cigarette in the parking lot.

      2) I currently don’t have a bank account, to start one up I’m assuming costs money.

      Thanks for reading!

  3. Anonymous says:

    You can actually only receive your paycheck via direct deposit. Your experience determines whether or not you are paid minimum wage. I just started a month ago as a crew member and I make well over minimum wage. Check your facts.

    • you’re an idiot. I worked there for like 5 months. Made minimum wage.

      • Shesfuntastic says:

        you say you worked there for 5 months in this comment but in your post you say that you only worked there less than a week.. well which is it? because i work at mcdonalds also and get paid over minimum wage, and it costs what, like $5 to open a savings account and a checking account is free? that would wave you a shit ton on cashing you meager checks.

        • Shesfuntastic says:


          • Shut the fuck up…no one cares about how shitty Mcdonalds is…everyone knows it. Get of your Golden Arch and try start paying your employees a livable wage. Even SLAVES in early America were provided enough comensation for their work to get a hot, cot, and a pot. Not Mcdonalds. Mickey D’s is WORSE than slavery. Obesity has killed FAR MORE people and EVERY SINGLE MCDONALDS RESTAURANT in the nation couldn’t have their entire staff pass a drug test. Face it. You are the SLIME of America. When society wipes it’s ass…the shit is 90% Mcdonalds and everything the Golden Arches represent.

            • Sabrina says:

              I work at Mcdonalds, have for little over a month I’m LUCKY if I get 8 hours a week. They pay less than minimum wage. When I went to orientation the paperwork said the first 6 months you get 50% off meals on shift 25% off shift and after 6 months you get 1 free meal during shift. NO You get 25% off within first 6 months then after 6 months you get 50% and YOU CAN’T GET DISCOUNTS UNLESS YOU’RE ON SHIFT. Only food place I know that does that.. Ridiculous!

            • Danielle says:

              Lowkey feeling like you’re trolling… Like, the shit that’s spewing from your mouth just seems like b8 to me m8. Then again, if you’re actually serious…that’s really sad :/

  4. bill says:

    There are way to many things wrong with your arguement i have worked at mcdonalds for 5 months i am getting minimum wage but thats not so bad since minimum is so high i havent got in trouble yet for wearing white shoes just because you had a bad experience doesnt mean that everyone else and they have been doing direct deposit for a while at mcdonalds

  5. Jack says:

    Lol, they don’t pay minimum wage where I work. Also you can leave your phone,in the crew room, or safer in the manager’s office that has cameras

  6. Nick says:

    Work there now, always have phone in pocket as does everyone else unless they are charging it in the break room. Also use direct deposit. This post is retarded

  7. Michael says:

    I just recently got a job at McDonalds, the no direct deposit is a myth. Because I use direct deposit. and they pay minimum wage to part time, and 75 cents more than for full time. atleast this is how it is at mine.

  8. amused by ignorance!!! says:

    I worked at mcds for over 2 years and nvr hadthese problems… as i said… longer than a week… if your working you don’t need your phone… i am a mother… call work phone only in emergency for family emergencies like hey your kid cracked his head open.
    my starting wage was almost 9 an hr. high pay for min wage in ks

  9. amused by ignorance!!! says:

    Did u quit or get fired? you have said both… pick a story

  10. Kiera Rogers says:

    Just because you had a bad experience does not mean you have to give McDonald’s a bad wrap. As a former crew member who has never experienced any problems mentioned and has worked for over months, (let alone 1 week), it’s insulting!

  11. Lilly says:

    You legit sound dumb af. I work there & nothing you said is true. 1. McDonalds welcomes people with open arms for a chance to make an honest living. 2. Staff members period are not aloud to date regardless of there position. 3. You’re aloud to have your cell phone in your pocket, you’re aloud to respond to texts as long as you’re not on the floor with it. 4. We do do Direct Deposit because low & behold I HAVE IT. 5. Of course you’re getting paid minimum wage!! wtf did you expect $25 an hour? You have to earn raises & work there long enough to move from 7.25. & 6. The reason why your real name wasn’t discovered because it takes a whole for a background check to come in, you’d probably get fired anyways. You inky worked there a few days so you dk shit. So don’t speak on something you don’t know fucking idiot.

  12. Sandy says:

    Ive worked mcdonalds for about a year and i can tell u this all bullshit! I dont know which one you worked at but that doesnt happen at the one i work at

    • Anonymous says:

      Thank you! I hate people like this scumbag. Like, he’s just spreading these lies for other gullible people (who are not willing to do their own research) to eat up. It’s annoying af.

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