Big news today everyone…

 

 

I am thinking about selling this website for $300.  I really need to money.  Is it worth it?  I don’t think that my fans would be able to match that amount in a decade.  Seems like a good business move on my part.  Sigh….

Sorry everyone. But this may be farewell

 

 

Posted in New Blogs | 6 Comments

Protected: Quitting…

This content is password protected. To view it please enter your password below:

Posted in New Blogs

Microsoft…are you FUCKING RETARDED!?!?!?!?!?!?!

Imaget

Dear Micosoft, 

Are you FUCKING STUPID?  Who the FUCK decided to name your shit-box the X-Box FUCKING ONE?  Fire them.  Don’t even consider that this employee might have a family, a fucking dog, or kids to feed, I DON’T FUCKING CARE.  I hope they starve to death.  

Oh…and NOBODY, I MEAN NO-FUCKING-BODY-AT ALL LIKES THE KINECT.  IT WAS A COMPLETE FAILURE.  No new gaming companies are ever thinking, “Hey, I have a great idea, let’s make this game be compatible for the kinect.”  

No….that will never happen.  

Oh and another thing….YOU FUCKING SUCK MICROSOFT.  I WOULD RATHER SUCK A DONKEYS AIDS INFESTED BONER than purchase your shitass X-box THREE.  Sony Playstation can take my piles of cash while I beg them to lick my vagina while i’m sucking on a huge donkey boner instead of purchasing your GAMESTOP-KiLLING PIECE OF SHIT.  

THIS IS TEN TIMES WORSE THAN WINDOWS VISTA MICOSOFT.  

SERIOUSLY, GO FIST YOURSELF WITH A FUCKING WATERMELON. 

_Scarlet 

5.28.13

Posted in New Blogs | 2 Comments

It’s Friiidaay! 4.5.13

20130405-214833.jpg

The Scarlet Numbers 4.5.13

I have writers block. :/

I’ve been trying to make a “fake obituary” for Roger Ebert but all my punch lines keep falling flat. I friggin hate that guy and could probably write a book about how useless of a human being he was. However, the words just aren’t coming. Truthfully, it’s not because I can’t “write” it’s because I can’t type lying down and I’m too lazy to sit up. I’m typing this on my phone right now because, yeah, I just don’t feel like getting out of bed today.

So what’s new with me? A lot.

I got a new job today! I have to memorize their entire menu by Monday and then take a test.

I realized the other day that I’m obsessed with several things:

1. R.A. Salvatore- I’ve been reading a his books like crazy! Just read Homeland, Exhile, and Sojourn and now I’m almost finished with a book called “The Crystal Shard”

2. Howard Stern, I spend hours everyday just watching old Howard stern videos.

3. I’ve also discovered a new show that I absolutely love called “Adventure Time with Jake and Finn” It’s so awesome! Yesterday I watched the entire first season and today I’ve been watching the 2nd.

Also, yesterday I checked out the new Oz movie and I’ll be writing a review on it tomorrow.

Blah. Sorry, nothing to say today.
Be back as soon as I can sit up.

Need more jack Daniels.
-Scarlet

Posted in New Blogs | 8 Comments

The Scarlet Answers 4.4.13

Screen shot 2013-04-04 at 6.42.32 PM

Screen shot 2013-04-04 at 6.42.41 PM

Screen shot 2013-04-04 at 6.53.42 PM

 

Screen shot 2013-04-04 at 7.03.57 PM

 

Screen shot 2013-04-04 at 7.04.03 PM

Posted in New Blogs | 8 Comments

Gender Specific Bullshit

20130404-024124.jpg

The Scarlet Numbers 4.4.13

Women these days are so god-damned proud of their vaginas it’s sickening. I stumbled across a Facebook page today titled “One Million Moms and Women For The Second Amendment” and I almost puked all over my MacBook Pro. For a moment I was seriously debating whether or not I should neuter myself just to disassociate myself from these Biased Activists who feel the need to form a Vagina Coalition for every cause under the sun.

I seriously hope their pussies get sunburns and peel off like scabs filled with green crusty ooze and they are left with a vaginaless crotch and nothing left flaunt around like a Macy’s Day Parade.

Here’s the problem you assholes: you’re for the 2nd amendment , that’s fine and dandy. But guess what, vaginas aren’t mentioned in the second amendment you fucking BIASED STUPID BITCHES. Go fuck yourself with cacti and stop wiping your vaginas in places they don’t belong.

I think that people have the definitions of “Equality” and “Prejudice” confused these days. Just because your past generations slaved over a hot stove doesn’t give you the right to be a biased piece of shit.

“Sometimes I wish I could just take a boiling hot iron fresh off the ironing board and mash it in the faces of “every mother who was against drunk driving whose entire organization excluded anyone with a fucking penis.”

I wish I could brand these people like cows with “BIASED BITCH” scarred across the forehead of every women who completely disgraced the idea of equality itself for a chance to prance their vaginas around as if it were some kind of “million vag march on Washington”

Why can’t these stupid women see how unfair they are treating men?

Gonna go take a rage dump.
Be back soon.
-Scarlet

Posted in Annoying People, Hypocrites | Tagged | 3 Comments

You were bored, but you were never old

20130403-231218.jpg

The Scarlet Numbers 4.4.13

I can never think about early April without thinking about Cobain.

Growing up Nirvana was my oxygen. My nutrients were consumed through my headphones and my idols smashed the instruments they used to create life with.

Do you know what the suicide rate is for homosexuals? I wish I weren’t so lazy, I’d get up out of the bathtub and google it.

I have a theory that Kurt Cobain was a closeted homosexual who lived in constant fear of being “outed” by his livid wife, his new guitar player, or old friends back from Washington. It drove him mad, his telltale heart hidden under the billboards, thumping louder and louder and he just couldn’t stand the thought of being exposed

Not as a drug addict or a bad father

but as an alien

terrified of his own territorial pissings.

Question:

When will the anti-gay cliche go away?

Not in his lifetime. Not in ours.

So many people out there secretly suffer. They hide behind closed doors,

terrified of pride.

Others are proud of themselves, some shunned by their own tribes,

made to think that the air you breathe is some kind of choice.

all babies are born gay.

From birth to puberty we wage war against our opposing gender, until one day we are finally allowed to climb up into that treehouse with the “no girls allowed” sign taken down. We fall in love with our sworn enemies, but some stay behind the bushes with their slingshots

Adults drop their weapons

and surrender to nature

so forget the ozone

fear the rainbow

If everyone in this world were gay humanity would only last one generation.

Posted in Good Morning Gay America | Tagged , | 8 Comments