10 Reasons Why Google Might Have Banned Me

The Scarlet Numbers 5.24.12

Let me start off by thanking everyone who reads this blog.  PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE help me spam this blog EVERYWHERE on Google Plus.  We need to teach them a lesson that they can’t just censor me and expect me to me banished from Google Plus forever.  You are my warriors and I need you to fight this battle with me.  Create multiple Google Plus accounts and spam http://www.thescarletnumbers.com all day and all night.

Together we can make a true difference!

The day have finally come my friends….Google smashed the ban hammer down on my Google Plus acount.  I’m really not sure why.  So I thought I’d make a Top 10 List about it…

#1. Google Plus hates beautiful pictures of the sky…  

Yes….the sky looks pretty beautiful there….but I don’t think Google Plus appreciates it as much as I do.  I had a whole bunch of other beautiful pictures of the sky….but you know what? I’m not going to post them on all my other Google Plus accounts….because I’m afraid Google might ban me for doing so.

#2.  Google Plus Doesn’t appreciate me spamming my URL everywhere.

First of all, I can understand how people might take extreme offense to this advertisement.  But I was making fun of IRAN….I mean come on…..are you seriously going to stand up for IRAN over me?  That’s just plain unpatriotic!

#3.  Google Plus doesn’t think I’m sexy

Okay, I get it.  I don’t post my vagina enough.  I’m sorry.  I just think that it looks too much like a dophin for the masses to collectively masturbate to and not feel ashamed afterwards. I know…..I’m just a tease.  I only post semi-nipples, and half-butts…..

I’m sorry.  I’m just not the sexy girl that Google wants me to be.  I apologize.

#4.  Mike Shaffer is a Troll 

My biggest theory about getting banned is this Mike Shaffer dude who is always trolling on all of my posts.  He basically just argues with everyone and tries to promote his awesome metal band and everyone buys into it.  DON’T FEED THE TROLL.

#5.  Google has no sense of humor  

IT WAS FUNNY.

#6.  Google thinks that I am somehow making money from this blog 

I think Google might be under the false impression that I’m making money for making this blog.  If so….they are fucking stupid.  The only reason this blog exists is so I can bitch and complain about the things that I like.  It’s not like I’m complaining about things that I DON’T like….I wouldn’t waste my time.  If I REALLY don’t like something, I won’t even mention it.  Why do you think I don’t have any blogs about WordPress?

#7.  Google thinks I have too many friends (and they’re jealous)  

I’m pretty pissed off about this Google suspension.  This mean I have to make ANOTHER account, and lay-low for ANOTHER two weeks while being discrete about my intentions for using Google plus SOLELY TO PROMOTE MY BLOG.

If Google thinks they can keep me away from Google plus, they are sadly mistaken I already have like 17 accounts.  However, they banned the only account that I had where I actually had a lot of friends.

#8. Google Accidently Pressed the Ban Button 

There is a possibility that Google might have accidently pressed the ban button and suspended my account for no reason whatsoever.  Only God knows the truth.  And there is no God so I’m pretty much fuckedd.  (Just kidding God….lol.)

#9.  Google Doesn’t think Little Cute Turtles Eating A Strawberry is Cute

This is probably the main reason why I was banned.  I think Google might have a general bias against pictures of turtles that are attempting to eat strawberries twice their size.   I encourage EVERYONE to contact Google and ask them,

“What’s your fucking problem?”

Seriously.  Something like 70% of all my views from this blog come straight from Google Plus.  It’s really the only way I can advertise this blog and FORCE PEOPLE TO READ IT AGAINST THEIR WILL.   How am I supposed to do this now that Google has layed down the ban hammer?

#10.  Google Sucks 

 It might just be possible that Google just fucking sucks and they realize that my blog is gaining popularity so they just banned me because they are jealous. Don’t worry. I’ll be leaving Google Plus in the “Friend Zone”  when they come crawling back for some warm hot pussy.

When this website is bigger than Google and I have my own social network, I’ll be the first to Ban Google when it tries to promote itself on my site.

Remember:

ONLY YOU CAN PROMOTE THIS SITE ON GOOGLE PLUS.

I AM OFFICIALLY BANNED.

LOL.

-Scarlet